Too Busy Being Happy

Good. I'm nuts. But at least I know I'm nuts. One way I'm nuts is, I try so hard to be good. I worry and obsess about the worship service. Because I want the worship service to be good. I worry worry and obsess obsess about the sermon. Because I want the sermon to be good. And I avoid trying so many things, because I'm afraid I won't be good enough. I try so hard to be good, I become hard, instead of becoming good. It was a week ago today. Tina and Gary were coming to visit me at the rehab center. Wonderful! Visits are good heart medicine! And they were bringing their 5-year-old granddaughter, Ella. Wonderful wonderful! Ella is a great kid! This is how I know I'm nuts. I wanted to color a picture of a rainbow. To give to Ella. My Sweetie had brought in crayons and a big piece of white paper. So I could color a picture of a rainbow. To give to Ella. But Dave, who tries so hard to be good, felt like he "had" to check out rainbows on the computer. I "had" to get all 7 colors of the rainbow. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. What the heck kind of color is indigo, anyway. ?! Dave, who tries so hard to be good, "had" to check and double-check. Does the red part of the rainbow go on the top, or the bottom? Of course, if you give a five year old a picture of a rainbow, the first thing she's gonna do is check to make sure that rainbow has all 7 colors of the visible light spectrum. And if red is on the bottom of the rainbow instead of the top, of course she's gonna rip up that rainbow. Because it's not good enough. See, I told you I'm nuts. At least I know I'm nuts. Ella seemed happy with her rainbow. She seemed too busy being happy to inspect the rainbow. For the proper colors in the proper order.

Maybe today I could take a lesson from Ella? Let go of some of my worries about being Good, and just be happy today.