Again

When my daughter was little, she'd come running over to me. I'd pick her up and lift her over my head, I'd throw her in the air and catch her. Then I would set her down. She'd laugh and laugh. Then she'd say, "Again." I would pick her up. Again. Lift her over my head. Again. Throw her in the air and catch her. Again. Then set her down. Again. She'd laugh and laugh. Then she'd say, "Again." Ohhhh boy! Daddy learned the hard way. Be careful what you start. Somebody might want you to do it Again. Again. Again. Like God, for instance. Yesterday afternoon, I was staring at this Sunday's Gospel reading. Again. That's when I realized tomorrow's Gospel reading starts with "Again." "Again Jesus spoke to them...." How does God get something into my hard little head? Again. Say the same thing Again. How does God work to get something from my head to my heart? Where it can make a difference in my attitudes and actions? Again. Say the same thing Again. I am a compulsive person. I try hard to be good. I become hard, instead of becoming good. So, Again and Again, I go with Philippians 4:5: "Let your gentleness be known to all. The Lord is near." I write "gently" on my left hand. When I clench up, assuming the worst, I say, "gently." Again. When I clench up, trying to go in six directions at once, I say, "gently," Again. When my fear of failure and my fear of rejection put my transmission into Neutral, I say "gently" Again. When I was in the hospital in August, I saw Fergus Farrell on the Brooklyn Bridge. Fergus Farrell was beginning to walk to San Diego. Walking across the United States! He started with one step. And Again. And Again. It's estimated it'll take Fergus Farrell 6 million steps to get from Brooklyn to the San Diego pier. One step. And Again. And Again. Six million steps! Maybe I'll need to say "gently" to myself six million times? Before I actually live Philippians 4:5. "Let your gentleness be known to all. The Lord is near." Maybe it'll take 7 million times. I am a thickhead, after all. I hope, when I clench up today, I say, "gently" Again. And Again. And Again. Fergus Farrell is now in Missouri. Stepping one step Again. And Again. Maybe I could move closer to God, by praying "gently" Again. And Again.