"I'm Sorry."

I was talking with a church member recently about the power of those two simple words, "I'm sorry." When I do wrong, I can simply say, "I'm Sorry." But faith is like paint. It only makes a difference where you apply it.

Yesterday, I was leaving the house of some other church members. Backing up, I heard a clunk. Oh no! They had their house number sign mounted on a metal pole. To prevent someone from hitting it like I almost did, they had put a plastic pipe by the metal pole. I had backed into this plastic pipe, knocking it over. I hurried out and tried to prop the pole up again. The pole was back up, sort of. "You idiot! You moron!" I could have gone right back in and said, "I'm Sorry." But I didn't. Driving back home, I went back and forth between "You idiot,!"and, "It's not that bad." Besides, I can confess and say "I'm Sorry" when I see them next week. And live in shame in the meantime. I spent the afternoon going back and forth. It says in John 14 that the Spirit works to help you remember. I believe the Spirit remembered me of a church member from years ago. Dick was helping with Vacation Bible School. Bible School is fun. Dealing with overexcited kids all week can also be stressful. On the last day of Vacation Bible School, a kid had mouthed off to Dick. He lost his temper and grabbed the kid by the neck. (Anybody reading this ever lose their temper and do something they regret? I know I have.) Dick asked to speak to everybody at the VBS closing. There, in front of God and everybody, Dick said, "I'm Sorry." It was one of the bravest things I've seen somebody do. Remembering Dick's example helped me call these folks. I was hoping they wouldn't answer. But he did. Oh no! He's gonna tell me I'm a terrible person! Quick, before I can talk myself out of it: "When I was leaving, I accidentally backed into that plastic pole you have out front. I tried to fix it. But I'm the one who did it, and I'm sorry." He gently said, "I'll take care of it, Dave." Whew! I survived. Now I don't have to spend the week going back and forth between "You idiot!" and "It wasn't that bad." Although I probably will.

My battle is with my shame. My shame works to get me to curl in on myself. Curl in on myself, with the dead ends of self-contempt and excusing. The way forward is, "I'm Sorry." Simple, but not easy. Faith is like paint. It only makes a difference where you apply it. When I am wrong, those two-simple-but-not-easy words, "I'm Sorry," get me unstuck from the Swamp of Shame. God, please help me remember this the next time I do wrong and my shame starts yelling!